Happy 4th

Just got up and walked the dogs, been mostly in a bit of a blur from working and being sleep deprived in general, so after having the day off from work yesterday, I kind of feel a bit refreshed this morning. So I spent the day sleeping and netflixing yesterday just to catch up. I been out in the archipelago working on boats, and this week I am actually having some days off, tho hopefully I get booked in for work those days as well., I’d be happy for that 🙂

Besides all that I have gotten into the thing and starting to be a bit more inspired to make music again, altho time is a factor in the equation, so I am trying to remember the ideas as they come, to make something out of it when I have more time to make music again. Also writing wise, I have started to feel it coming a bit more lately, so that gives me a bit of hope for being good enough to continue to write the script I am in the middle of. So hopefully time is coming my way again, I am thinking to work as much as I can for the sumer and be back with my normal lifestyle for after the sumer and be back on track with my finances so I can be kind of normal again. So hopefully that schedule works so I can write my stories again and make more music. It would be such a dream to actually make enough money doing my music and writing for a living. So maybe I am even more eager to make it work after this.

So yeah, working tonight, tho just up until about ten, so I think I am walking a bit after work to keep in shape and I might even inspire people at work to make a bit healthier choices if they want to; it would be great with company walking from work anyway!

So yes, it’s 4th of July today, we usually try to do something special this day with half American daughter, so I think we have to make something for that as well today, maybe late night barbecue marshmallows or something.

So yes, happy 4th and enjoy the day 🙂

Night bus

Working my as off at the moment and doing as many hours at work as I can in the bar I am currently working in, I am so eager to get back with some of my friends and actually do something that matters to me, like music. Altho I did have a really great night at work listening to the music in the speakers thinking about how I could perfect things. It was a super busy night, and it’s kind of awesome to actually meet people at work and being super busy so it’s just nice little chats and laughs and happy people, something I rarely been doing, meeting people in this way, and I realize I really missed that, Altho I also miss sitting at home writing and doing my other things now, so I guess it’s been a bit of an eyeopener in many ways reflecting what I am doing, so anyway, a super busy night in great company. So I really appreciate meeting people more than I even thought, I realized. Yesterday I was working all night, running around in the bar and somebody at work needed a sofa to sleep in for the night, so I brought him over to my place… and we went for hours through town walking home after work. Super nice chatting away. My dog thought he was getting a daddy, hahahaha, tho sorry to say it, it was just in the friend zone. Sometimes I really want to meet somebody more that that tho, and some people have a bit of potential sometimes, and I thought about it all day, and I have really been trying to get myself in the right direction, I even used to have a set goal for being married before New Years this year, hahahaha ( I guess I’ll be late for my own wedding ), and even my daughter been adding dating apps downloading them to my phone just to make me go match with somebody. Somehow I just keep on swiping… I just seem so picky, when I try to analyze it myself, and then – when there is an obvious opening, I feel more like a restoring project for somebody, kind of unperfected and incomplete, and it’s so far from how I want things to be. Very consuming in so many ways, I have to say. So in a way I really want to avoid wasting time, and just grab somebody and get into it, and on the other hand I am so hesitant so even I am wondering if I’ll ever meet my mister right at all.

So besides analyzing and thinking about things like that today, I been working my but off in the bar, getting the night bus home (!), and been trying to figure things out. And I guess I am still waiting for mister right.

The Band

As I am working as much as I can at the moment to get over the hurdles, I also did manage to find a ‘live band that needed a singer. As I realized a bit late they were like a coverband for kind of very rocky things, kind of a bit poodle rock from the 80’ies, kind of far from what I actually want to do in terms of music as I tend to reach more towards the electronic pop mainstream kind of roads for my music, I had to pull out. It was just a feeling. Since My music is basically what I want to do, I realized. I would love to have a band or a solution to get out to more live gigs tho, and that was my idea with the band. Tho Me being a bit of slob at the moment, working a lot and being sleep deprived and having beer on my shoes and a raspy voice from the late nights working, I found it so uncomfortable to get that across, ‘I want to be kind of Me’, and I just thought it could cost more than it would taste at the end of the day, even just to try it out, even tho they were really nice and said they would be comfortable going in my direction, I just felt the gap between being kind of major. And a lot of wasted time for both ends, I wanted to avoid that. They were really nice and said they were super flexible and were interested in kind of making my music as well as their songs. I just had the weirdest feeling, and so I followed it, and decided to wait for a perfect match instead of hooking up with a half descent solution that potentially could hold me from the perfect solution. And decided to blame it on the timing. I mean it’s kind of unrealistic timing wise as well, at the moment to fit in things like that in to my schedule with a lot of work and trying to get things together again. So I really hope they find a singer that can fit them a bit better. And the thing I realized with all of that, was that I want to be my own thing, Linn DaVerde, that is me, and it kind of has to be my brand, and if being in a band it would have to consist as being Me and my thing, rather than being a full on band member in an already made band and stand for kind of their ‘brand, that was kind of very far from being me. So in a way it was good to get that figured out, and maybe it did strengthen my brand and my idea within myself a bit with being clear within the fact that I want to build my brand and the things that I want to do, altho it would be great with real people to get out doing gigs somehow and collaborate with real people and maybe doing acoustic sets and it would be awesome to just actually get somewhere and even just do something at the moment, and I think with joint forces it’s a way forward as well. So I would like to get involved with real people for making music somehow, I guess it just has to feel as the right match.

So anyways, I’ve spent the nights working as much as I can. Analyzed the performances at the ‘Rosenthal Garden Party from the other week as I been working, since I was super sober and was there to work I really soaked in how different the performances were with mostly interacting with the crowd, and all of the ways worked, it was actually very inspiring as I thought about it.

Trying to be with my RAW food thing during this time is a bit of a project working in the restaurant industry. I understand that it’s super rare being RAW vegan, so I think I am starting to bring like a bunch of bananas to work as I tend to really having to eat a bit during the nights, and it kind of tends to be unRAW ( but I am trying to get as much RAW percentage in as I can overall ) and rather than just snack away with what there is in the restaurants, because I just have to eat, I can just squeeze a banana in or make smoothies or something to make it work a bit better for me. So I have to figure something out with that. Other than that, work has been kind of fine. I was serving a cute wedding gathering yesterday, and it kind of matters to other people and it’s a thing being a part of the big moments for other people as well, making it the best it can be, I guess. So I mean during the first bit of the evenings I usually tend to consider just packing up my stuff and just leave since it’s so sucky, and then at the end of the night after running the whole evening, I usually think it’s kind of nice anyway. And since I am a person who just does my best in every aspect I can think of, I guess I am up to standard somehow anyway to stay the night.

So yeah been busy lately and I really would love to and would prefer to hang out in the nice weather with the guitar making the city streets a bit happier.

– Yo – Bartender

I been spending some rough weeks trying to get up with things back to ‘normal’, kind of. Mostly to get my economy rolling again. And I am on a roll I can say… Although I been spending a lot of time to be able to step things up for my music and writing the last few years I had to get so many steps back to be back on track as I had to move back to the city again, so I even had to go back to work as a bartender again. I mean with mixed feelings for sure. Altho I did have the pleasure to work in the Rosenthal Garden Party festival with lots and lots of bands playing. It was a great festival and I been absolutely f..ucked for a day since I been standing up serving drinks for about 12 hours shifts straight. It was super busy tho up for it with a smile. I am so looking forward to that freaking paycheck basically. And I really felt the petty for being there as a bartender as my dream would be to have gigs like that someday. And the dream felt further away than ever ‘ Well…. What’s a royal ball after all….. ‘.

So generally the pressure has been really unbearable at times lately, just to be honest. I am happy tho that I could get back to work again and just start just over the day, and it’s been almost fun at times… trying to grab ahold of aevery piece of happiness I could find, very needed, I mean at the end of the day I did get to go to the festival without paying and eating almost vegan staff food, trying to stay tuned with my positive vibe. Eating chocolate (!) and being super sleep deprived. great. So I guess I just feel further away from my dreams in reality than I ever felt I think, ever over all, at the moment, sloppy thirds, I know. So yeah kind of under my own shoes…. And just to mention being a sober person for years and years is kind of unmatched with being a bartender in a way, I know ( tho I really like to work as a bartender ) and being just me feels kind of unmatched with pretty much anything at the moment so I guess it kind of works, and when it’s a lot to do, I can avoid to think so much about everything else, I guess, and it might get things to a happier note with having to be very friendly and nice, I mean actually getting up from the sofa and grab some lipstick on the run out to the tube to be in time, greet everybody with a smile, I mean it might stick just as that, SMILE , as I picture myself with that ultra smile, just for tips. So yeah I am on a roll ( or lets say about 4 part time rolls ) grinding and wasting my time away. Fantastic.

New morning session

So yeah, today I finally got to it, with the PJ session again. I’ll link it below. Yesterday I was around town for some shopping and fixing the urban garden a bit and I think most of the week just went for the general day to day things and a bit of everything without even thinking about it, and the urban garden in my living room, omg the cucumbers are running wild in my window, and I harvested a cucumber already and it seems like there are more to come 🙂 I am testing out various hydroponic solutions to grow in other things than soil for growing medium, so I’ve been spending some time figuring that out – how to grow in only water and nutrition basically so I been researching a lot at YouTube. Super fun and it seem to really work. I would like to grow my veggies year round indoors with lights so I thought to test it out when there is lots of light streaming in from outside this time of year anyway to make things work 🙂

Today I thought to grab the guitar and go into the city centre again, so I am waiting to see what the weather looks like today, I was up before five in the morning recording my acoustic song and walking the dogs. I really like this song and it was very nice to play it out at the streets last weekend since it kind of got people to dance a bit more 🙂 So I would love to bring a better version forward maybe an electronic is coming from me as well, so if anybody up for some collaboration I’d be super happy to make something with it 🙂

Anyways, it’s a new day and it’s the best day of the week so a super happy day for you and hope you like my song 🙂

Counting Cars -LINN

Counting Cars – LINN

New week

The weekend, as in Sunday, I spent with the guitar trying to get used to the steel strings again, as I started to record a new PJ session ( a project I started a while back with acoustic morning sessions ) . So the morning went to that, and then I just kind of stood up, and wanted to do something, so I decided to go out and bring the guitar outdoors instead. So nice weather. So I, anyhow, grabbed the guitar and went to Old town, and just started a session at the busiest street I could find. It was packed with tourists, and it was great fun 🙂 if I thought I had a bit of a stage freight before that, that thing was defiantly being cured hahahahaha. Crazy and fun 🙂 I had written a sign with my YouTube channel and details and thought to make a better sign for the next time I am going out with the guitar 🙂 So after an hour or two I was super super sawr ( spellings ) with ‘steel string fingers’, and even tho it was nice weather it could have been warmer I have to say – meaning today my fingers been mega sawr, but it was well worth it 🙂 Super fun, and being out and about meeting people and making them so happy, it was a great joy 🙂 I used to work as a bartender and it was a bit simular with making people very happy, and very kind of fun, bringing lots of joy to their day 🙂 So kind of a few people were grabbing their phones and recorded as they went by and made pictures and I was posing for everything I had really 🙂 children were dancing and people were walking by discovering a new city, since there was a lot of tourists. it was a great feeling. New roads and new streets and new everything 🙂 I had been dressing up a bit for the fun of it as well and it seemed to be appreciated hahahahahaha 🙂 Next time I am thinking to make t-shirts to sell within the concept of PEACE, and that’s what I was going for.

So busier weekend than I even thought and it defiantly got me a bit more happy overall after all that has been, so a good cure even for me ; make people happy 🙂

Besides that, I was out barbecuing and walking and just hanging out. And there is a new song on the way, that I am looking forward to continue writing, and continuing the PJ session recording as well, tho I realized the version I already have at my YouTube Channel is almost acoustic…. I post the already made version here, I love the song actually ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keySCbMWcro ) I am doing things without any form of pressure at the moment so it’s great that the PJ session gets up and recorded at some point, rather than that it should have been posted during the weekend. Tho I am really excited to get it recorded in a new acoustic way ( the first version is kind of dated and from when I first were learning how to record on my own songs so I mean there is a bit room for improvement hahahaha and I thought to make an electronic version as well ) Tho my steelstringfingers are slightly fu..cke..d for a couple days more I think so when it feels good – I am up for it ( tho that’s great since I got the tunes going within me for that new song I am writing so I am working with the lyrics in my mind a bit more thoughtful kind of I really like that 🙂 )

So yeah, I guess happiness is the big thing at the moment and if you are in town and feel for it you might as well pop by old town for the weekend, I might be there for the PEACE project 🙂

Saturday

Today I finally seemed to have my shit together enough to bring music into my world again. I had to put it on the shelf for a bit while everything else was spinning around, and today I just had some time to bring out the guitar and continue a bit from yesterday with making a live set and also get used to the guitar for a bit of a longer sessions. So I was up for it somehow today and a bit more into it, hopefully it increases as time goes, so yeah after sometime with very sawr ( how does that even spell ) fingers from being unused to the steel strings of the guitar, I finally had some new music coming to me again. I just had to write it straight away to remember it, in fractions tho something that can work out, sometimes I just fast record things with the phone to remember new ideas. So anyway, new music coming ( hopefully ). I think the hardest part is to force forward lyrics, and I think that the lyrics really is the thing, it has to be at peace kind of, so kind of often I feel super drained for lyrics, and I think it’s energy going into it, so if there is any lack of energy I am without ideas for lyrics coming, something like that, especially when things has been a bit ‘off the road´ with everything else around me, lyrics seems to be so far away. So being back with lyrics again are kind of amazing to me and a sign of things going in the right direction again, hopefully.

So yeah, music weekend – it seems to become this weekend, and that I am very happy with, and I am excited about getting into collaborations again as I feel a bit more boosted energy wise.

Hey Girl

Today turned into an exciting evening as I bumped into a friend from a long time ago. Sometimes things just has to happen for a reason, and this has to be meant to be somehow. As I first came back to Stockholm again, one of the first things that happened was that I saw this particular friend just singing a long walking by with headphones as I was waiting for the tube, OMG I thought to myself, what a welcoming back to the city again. And since I very rarely see her, I thought to miss the tube, that I was going into as I saw her, to speak with her instead, although I was in a hurry for a meeting so I had to leave it and get with the tube. Then about a day after I saw her again, and some hours after again, and again, and again and today – I was meeting her face forward as I was walking the pavement. Hey Girl, it’s been a while how are you? Is that so strange? I have had my apartment for five years and bumped in to her once in all those years, and then I see her five times in about a week. There has to be a meaning to that, I thought to myself. Yet so curious to find out. So we went back to my place and just continued our friendship as if we just met yesterday. Super happy for that.

I also managed to dust of the guitar today for a bit and started to think what songs I can make a good acoustic morning session with. So There might be a PJ session coming this weekend 🙂 And I started to figure out what songs I can actually make as in a good live set, with a guitar, and just hit the streets with if I want to and start that open stage idea I have, so I am starting with refreshing the material I do have and see if I have courage enough to try it out.

So I have to say an awesome evening, and I am super happy for spending it in great company 🙂

Guitar – check

Today I was lucky enough to have a neighbor going into the storage as I went by, since my key was yet to be found, I could sneak in with him. So the day turned into something busy grabbing things from the storage, and washing and cleaning and organizing. So I almost got the TV up working again, and I found the guitar, so that’s great, super happy for that 🙂 I was laughing a bit when I unpacked some boxes and realized the way I am as I unpacked about 16 bottles of washing softener and 10 bottles of this and that hahahahaha, I just like to have my cupbords stocked up I guess, just as being in a mini shop, and they have to be in perfect lines and rows and in order with the labels facing forward 🙂

So I been busy all day doing apartment things and it feels awesome to get my things back in order as there ment. Yesterday I was spending the evening with the tube trying to get across town for grabbing some tables, tho I was without battery in the phone it kind of turned late and without a map and all I decided to buy some other tables sometime instead and what a project moving tables in the tube (!). And it was super late when I got back. So I just turned some cardboard boxes up side down for a coffee table until I find something nice, I would love to find something antique style that I can paint or something. I am trying to grab most of the things as used or vintage, I really like that, and I think it’s the best thing for bringing a homey feeling to any new housing, bring in some vintage furnitures and things and mix it all around with old and new 🙂 really brings a homey feeling I think even tho everything is newly put together, I would like that feeling of a home rather than a furniture shop and it’s good for the environment as well 🙂

So yeah, finding new things for the apartment and being super happy for the guitar being back on track with me for the upcoming weekend, so I am really happy and it’s really great being back in town 🙂

Sunday Morning

I am kind of often into making music acoustic in the mornings, I just love the weekend mornings in general, and they are perfect for making music. So I started to record some of the sessions a while back, so that is a project that I want to continue, for my New goals list. Be up and running with the acoustic morning sessions. With my guitar in storage ( and the key – somewhere to be found hopefully ) and the piano far away, I am trying to figure out how to make sounds acoustic anyway, we shall see if I come up with something that works or if I manage to make some electronic sounds that sound acoustic all put together. I am looking forward to continue the project as soon as possible anyway 🙂 And I am looking forward to some real live session out in town in general 🙂

Today, is being spent with preparing for the week and getting everything in order, cleaning the apartment and a lot of urban gardening work. It’s growing wild here, super happy for that. I decided to save the name for a company as ‘Wild Thing’ I think that defines a lot of what’s around me at the moment and I love the song, is that with the Rolling Stones? Maybe it was a version with The Rolling Stones I realized as I researched it, since I had to check it out as I was writing this, the thing with that song seems to be with Jimi Hendrix ( Legends of Love, I listened a lot to that era of music, Love it ) So it seems that Jimi Hendrix made the best version of it in my opinion, as I found this at YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FehfuJIabqM hahahahaha OMG 🙂 I got some guitar skills to work on 🙂 Prefect name either way 🙂 ‘Wild thing’ entertainment anyway hahahahaha.

I started some cucumber seeds a while back and they love the sunshine in my living room, as well as some tomato plants and a bit of herbs and salads and bell peppers as well. So I decided to start up micro greens again, bigger trays as well and we shall see how it goes. Since my eating habits was a bit disturbed for a few weeks I am having to make the RAWfood transition again, I kept it very vegan tho so it should be smoother and a good percentage being fruitarian / RAW as well – tho I have eaten more cooked and prepared vegan food to just be kind of normal than what I am used to, so I have to step things up again with the fruitarian lifestyle. And since I love to grow my own things, it kind of makes sense to grab bowls of micro greens as a base to my meals and topping it off with some fruits and veggies, and I usually make a sauce for my meals with sunflower seeds with lemon juice, in the blender or mixer to a creamy sauce, and a bit of water in it and a bit of veggies or union and what there might be in the kitchen, so it usually works great as a fruitarian. So there is non sweet fruits and sweet fruits in this way of eating, so most things that we normally refer to as veggies are actually seen as fruit, tho non sweet fruit, such as cucumbers peppers tomatoes, so that is awesome to have in the windows instead of normal houseplants I think, so that’s how I am forwarding things.

Anyway, it’s a perfect morning outside and I been out with Henry for a morning walk already. So a lot of sunshine for you today and I wish you a perfect day 🙂

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