Working my as off at the moment and doing as many hours at work as I can in the bar I am currently working in, I am so eager to get back with some of my friends and actually do something that matters to me, like music. Altho I did have a really great night at work listening to the music in the speakers thinking about how I could perfect things. It was a super busy night, and it’s kind of awesome to actually meet people at work and being super busy so it’s just nice little chats and laughs and happy people, something I rarely been doing, meeting people in this way, and I realize I really missed that, Altho I also miss sitting at home writing and doing my other things now, so I guess it’s been a bit of an eyeopener in many ways reflecting what I am doing, so anyway, a super busy night in great company. So I really appreciate meeting people more than I even thought, I realized. Yesterday I was working all night, running around in the bar and somebody at work needed a sofa to sleep in for the night, so I brought him over to my place… and we went for hours through town walking home after work. Super nice chatting away. My dog thought he was getting a daddy, hahahaha, tho sorry to say it, it was just in the friend zone. Sometimes I really want to meet somebody more that that tho, and some people have a bit of potential sometimes, and I thought about it all day, and I have really been trying to get myself in the right direction, I even used to have a set goal for being married before New Years this year, hahahaha ( I guess I’ll be late for my own wedding ), and even my daughter been adding dating apps downloading them to my phone just to make me go match with somebody. Somehow I just keep on swiping… I just seem so picky, when I try to analyze it myself, and then – when there is an obvious opening, I feel more like a restoring project for somebody, kind of unperfected and incomplete, and it’s so far from how I want things to be. Very consuming in so many ways, I have to say. So in a way I really want to avoid wasting time, and just grab somebody and get into it, and on the other hand I am so hesitant so even I am wondering if I’ll ever meet my mister right at all.
So besides analyzing and thinking about things like that today, I been working my but off in the bar, getting the night bus home (!), and been trying to figure things out. And I guess I am still waiting for mister right.